AK47 Day 2021 - News from uMbongo

[Smoking gun]

Fuel tanker convoy sighted near Mombaka border. There are reports from villages near the Mombaka border with uMbongo that a convey of fuel tankers, driven by Eastern Europeans, has been seen heading towards Free uMbongo Army camps. The FMA have been carrying out training exercises recently which have featured motorised units and according to some eye witnesses tanks and artillery supporting infantry.

The FMA are looking like they are poised to cross the southern border between uMbongo and Mombaka threatening the economically important mineral rich lands.

In other news I have filled the car with petrol ready for my journey to Daventry 

Best wishes,
Martin Buck

[Big Mike]

The attached document is now with the Foreign Secretary ahead of this mornings Cabinet Meeting.

Copy of Telex message sent to Col F. via local Loyal Victoria Rifle Volunteers. Militia HQ, Logosia. Today 0345hrs from as yet unknown UK source. Reads;   
Your mission to locate and "rescue" the Target; Herr. Karl Luther Schorndorf from Hobee City Airport is now a GO!
Recent photo of Target; Herr. Schorndorf.


It is imperative that his geological surveys confirming the location of the diamond deposits are also recovered.
You will assemble your specialist team and supporting military force, ready to cross the border from Logosia move to the airport at 0200 hrs on Saturday 9th October.
Two serviceable commercial aircraft with flight crews, will be ready on the runway for your departure with the Target to the "safe haven" in South Africa.
Security at the airport is minimal although you may encounter one of the many unofficial armed militias that now roam at will.
Good luck.
"Broadsword"



From Southern Africa Desk, FCO.

"Welcome to Hobee City Airport, the home of Pan African Airlines. uMbongo's provincial airport provides services to the mining industry and pleasure flights to view the unique wildlife around Lake Hobee." (extract from UMbongo National Tourism Guidebook)"
The original airfield known as "Schorndorf Field", was established in the 1920's by the WW1 Eindecker ace and geologist, Karl Schorndorf, offering sightseeing flights for wealthy tourists. After marrying a South African diamond heiress he set up PAA as a commercial airline following the discovery of oil deposits in the region.
After uMbongo's independence, "Schorndorf Field" was re-named Hobee City Airport and developed as a vanity project for the new President by a West German industrial consortium keen to curry favour with the new regime.
The Karl Luther Schorndorf (age 76) still runs PAA and reliable sources confirm he has discovered  substantial industrial diamond deposits nearby, igniting interest from foreign investors. Schorndorf has not yet disclosed the location of these diamond deposits to the uMbongo Government but President, Dr Derek Chumbo, has secretly signed provisional contracts with a South African diamond corporation to exploit the find.
However, should news of this large deposit reach the markets, world-wide industrial diamond values will plummet, causing economic disaster for those nations heavily reliant on this commodity.
The security situation in uMbongo remains fragile and is expected to erupt into civil war at any time.   
(extract from UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office – Africa Desk Economic Report 1971 and update; to Downing Street)

Policy Recommendation
On balance we believe the UK's interests will be best served if the mercenary action is allowed to proceed and that Herr Schorndorf is safely removed with his geological surveys or he and they do not fall into the hands of anti-government forces by whatever means.

Sir Marmaduke Pauncefote
Permanent Under Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs



Mike

[Sean Clark]

Scenes of utter chaos on the outskirts of the capital, Kalabya.

Nobody is really sure what is going on, but the recently appointed Executive Committee for Sanitation and Cleanliness has its hands full to make everything ship shape and Bristol fashion in time for Election Day.

Reports that revolution and civil war are imminent are being squashed by the Chumbo administration. All is well in uMbongo and the population is excited to have the chance to cast their vote in the Democratic elections on Saturday.

Suspected Russian interference is being monitored closely with what are clearly photoshopped images of enemy troop movents, border incursions and local Warlord led Militia groups mobilising in all 4 provinces of the nation.

Also, the Chumbo administration is maintaining its stance that the only precious stone mining is with regard to the rich seams of cubic zirconia. Imperialist propaganda from our so called allies that there is a thriving trade in diamonds and rubies is false and anyone caught talking about the diamond mines close to Hobee which definitley don't exist will be liable to severe punishment with the full force of the law.

[Sean Clark]

OK, order has been restored to the streets of downtown Kalabya.

The 5 star Holiday Inn with rooftop garden and swimming pool.


The National Opera House.



City Hall



Restaurant Antar



Kwik-E-Mart



The Golden Arches



Woolies



The Rex Cinema House



First National Bank



Poundland



Dr Nicks Medical Practice



Polling Station for the big day.



Moe's Tavern



Costa. They get everywhere!



Interesting poster on the wall.



Customs and Excuse House.



National Gendarme House.



Shanty Town. Some dodgy character advertising his wares in that poster.



Lots of little bits for people to pick up, like the 3 films on show at the cinema! You'll have to wait for Saturday to see what they are though 😊

[Sean Clark]

All either MDF or else scratch built with odd bits of card.

[Colonel Kilgore]

Wow - you have been busy Sean - great stuff that I look forward to seeing in the flesh.

I have spotted a few dodgy-looking characters' photos adorning some walls - I hope such miscreants will be safely locked up in the local penitentiary?

Simon

[Sean Clark]

They may get a day release for Saturday 😊

[Big Mike]

Deadly Crocodile Attack!

The Hobee Herald this morning features a report of an airport worker killed by a crocodile on his way to work. Benjamin "Hurryalong" Zanu  was riding his moped along a track that he regularly used as a shortcut when he was savagely pulled to the ground by the giant reptile.

His cries were heard by employees at Hobee City Airport but he could not be saved.
Tom Njeri the shift foreman praised Benjamin as a model employee.
"He was a top dollar bloke, no question. We lost a good 'un today."
Another colleague who refused to be identified was critical of the authoritative.

"We've had dozens of these attacks and the bloody government don't care. These giants crocs have been coming across the lake from Logosia for months. Something really bad is happening."

Investigations continue.....

Mike

[Bankinista]

Lovely buildings but surely Poundland is too expensive? Maybe that's the price of the building for punters? (Centland/Pennyland?)

[Big Mike]

Sean,
I have just managed to open the photos on my laptop. What a superb collection of buildings. Top drawer!

I am hoping to visit the Restaurant Anta with a few chums. I am Gluten Free and Miles is a Vegan, what sort of welcome can we expect?   
Mike

[Colonel Kilgore]

I think crocodile steaks might be on the menu, Mike? Very lean (after all that heavy training on cross-border incursions) and mostly gluten-free.

Simon

[Moggy]

Nice collection. Looking forward to seeing them tomorrow.


Derek

[Moggy]

Wife says amazing as well, but where are the GOATS?

Derek

[John Watson]

That poster with the dodgy looking bloke in the green shirt looks very much like the infamous Butcher of Botsumashu who famously disposed of 47 of his wives in his award winning "Local Pie". The recipe was a closely guarded family secret which only came to light at his trial. Police caught up with him after the celebration dinner for winning the Pan African Pie Championships in uBongo when one of the guests told the Justice Minister between mouthfuls "This tastes like Auntie Doris".
John
PS Enjoy the AK47 day.

[Sean Clark]

John is correct. A well documented incident!

The Restaurant Antar caters for all palates. Nothing is off the menu. The chef literally puts the hearts of his staff into every dish.