AK47 Day 2021 - News from uMbongo

[Wardy64]

From .... COMUSNAVEUR
To ..... ..CIA Station Chief uMbongo

Be aware expect your region to become hot within 24hrs; advise all staff stay covert:

See aerial recon picture of border taken 4 hours ago:

Good luck all:

Message ends: ..........

[Moggy]

Reminds me of the hundred of tanks you could see from the military train to Berlin in the 80's near Magdeberg.

All were told not to take photos so of course everybody did.  Took ages to figure out what was wrong with the tanks. They were growing!

It seems that around once per week they would paint the tanks so they looked fresh and imposing. Last estimate I heard there was about a foot of paint ALL over, yep turret rings, hatches, barrel the lot!




Derek

[Colonel Kilgore]

After many false dawns, photographic documents of Logosia's armed forces have eventually made it to the West.

Following a tip-off, a roll of microfilm was discovered in a shipment of crocodile handbags of dubious origin, seized at the port of Marseille by French customs officials. It is unclear whether the film was planted in the bags, or whether the unfortunate photographer was discovered within the donor of the skin...

The Logosian militias are fond of their 4x4s - this shot appears to show their motor pool on manoeuvres.



These fast-moving technicals are typically backed up by wheeled armour:



Oldest of the militia groups, les Za'pawal like to travel light (taking "going commando" to a new level...):



Les Z-Boys are, frankly, a rabble. They don't enjoy lugging heavy kit around, or indeed maintaining proper military formation:



Les Enfants du JouJou are often mistaken for other militia groups, but are far more dangerous when suitably motivated by the magical juice:



All militia units can call on the national arsenal for heavier weapons in times of crisis:



Bataillons 47 and 56 form the core of the regular forces. Their regimental motto translates as "never knowingly outgunned":



Logosia has reportedly been receiving recent deliveries of otherwise obsolescent Soviet weaponry, which is nevertheless dangerously modern by the standards of the region:



The last frame on the recovered film was of the revered President-for-life "Papa Whisky" A. GoGo himself, alongside Monsieur Croque and a detachment of the Presidential Guard:



Sadly, the fate of the intrepid photographer remains unknown.


Simon

[Smiley Miley 66]

What's this I am A Vegan ? The company promotes Vegan yes....
I want to try Crocodile meat ?
Miles

[Wardy64]

Very nice Simon, Mr Croc looks good.

David & Ben

[Colonel Kilgore]

Thanks Dave. Martin's crocodiles are among his very nicest sculpts.

Simon

[Big Mike]

Miles,
I have only ever eaten Alligator meat. It is said to be more gamey that Crocodile meat which has a more fishy flavour. Hopefully we can find a restaurant that serves croc on the way back from Daventry.
Or maybe a Beafeater.....
Mike

[Jimmy James]

MEANWHILE, ACROSS THE BORDER IN ZUMO... (5)

"VERY WELL THEN, WAR!"

TRANSCRIPT OF ZNN EMERGENCY NEWS BROADCAST:




Citizens of Zumo, this is your President speaking to you from the House of Deputies in Our Nation's Capital, Zumbumbo.

This morning the Zumo Ambassador in Kalubya handed the uMbongolese Government a final note stating that, unless we heard from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared at once to acknowledge our complaint and cease supporting cross-border incursions, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this country is at war with uMbongo.

Up to the very last it would have been quite possible to have arranged a peaceful and honourable settlement between our two nations, but Dr Chumbowumbo would not have it. He had evidently made up his mind to permit these attacks and give succour to terrorists whatever happened, and although he now says he put forward reasonable proposals which were rejected by our government, that is not a true statement. His action shows convincingly that there is no chance of expecting that this man will ever give up his practice of using force to gain his will. He can only be stopped by force.

We have a clear conscience. We have done all that any country could do to establish peace. The situation in which no word given by uMbongo's ruler could be trusted and no people or country in Africa could feel themselves safe has become intolerable. And now that we have resolved to finish it, I know that you will all play your part with calmness and courage.

Now may God bless you all. May He defend the right. It is the evil things that we shall be fighting against - brute force, bad faith, injustice, oppression and persecution - and against them I am certain that the right will prevail. With our machetes and AK47s, our Toyotas and our RPGs, we will defeat the uMbongolese devil and restore peace to our nation!






jim

[Sean Clark]

Speech from tonight at 1800 hrs made by Derek Chumbo, President in session:

To my country, to my people, all hail the great powers that be. Safety, health and prosperity for all.

Tomorrow, is a historic day. Tomorrow, is the first day of the next day in the life of our nation. Tomorrow, today will be yesterday. And yesterday, forgotten.

We are holding the most Democratic elections in our history. For too long my brother, my blood has taken all and given nothing, NOTHING, to this nation. In our family growing up, custard creams were our favourite biscuit. I would take one. He would take three! This, my people shows you the man I was forced to replace.

Custard Creams for all!

My opponents say bourbons are best. I say to them, no! Let them eat bread.

Tomorrow, I will be again taking the oath of office as your President. This time, not in the snooker room of the Presidential Palace. But at City Hall, in front of you all. I shall look each and every one of you in the eye, and make my promise to you. You shall prosper. You shall grow. You shall be the best you can be for our nation.

To my enemies.... Yes, I know. Difficult to believe. But to my enemies, I say this.

GO HOME.!

There can be no war without yourself being the aggressor. But Mark my words. Step one foot onto uMbongan soil and we will strike down upon thee
With great vengeance and furious anger
Those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers, my sisters.
And you will know my name is the Lord
When I lay my vengeance upon thee.

I wrote these words last night, with caution in my heart, but zeal in my heart. Our allies have mobilised and journey from the south and east to ensure Democratic process is allowed to be followed.

But our enemies are numerous. With faith, and zeal and strength amd will, they will feel the force of my boot.

Zumo.... You will pay for your indiscretions and if it be tomorrow, next week or next year, I will have my custard cream. And I will eat it.

Viva uMbongo!
Viva uMbongo!
Viva uMbongo!